Really?
I refuse to believe any of that poppycock.
Life is given to us... we are created to live. And, "To Live" (to me) means to live a long full happy life, surrounded by love and family and life lessons. To grow old (maybe not so gracefully) with the love of your life. To experience life and have a full heart, until you are old and gray and need help tying your shoelaces like you did when you were a child. Looking into the face of the first person you loved (your mom or dad) while they showed you how to chase the Bunny rabbit around the tree and back into his hole. Now you are old and wrinkled and can't for the life of you remember where your teeth are and you are staring at the face of your life long love (your husband or wife) as they gently tie your shoes for you. To me, that is how we should live.
Some people will never see that. Some people are interrupted from that fairy tale of normalcy. Some hear three words that will change the course of their lives, forever.
"You have cancer"
Fuck.
I have seen it, lived it, breathed it twice, witnessed it first hand and from afar. I have seen the destruction left behind in its wake. I have felt and tasted more salty tears than I care to remember.
There are some people who are given that diagnosis and learn from it. And live what little life they have left, to the absolute fullest. becoming immersed in a "culture" of know-how and how-to's... living each day as if it were the last. Grabbing it by the horns with gusto and saying, "Look at me... I have cancer and I'm Alive!" That to me is Bridget Spence. She radiates LIFE.
Diagnosed at the incredibly young age of 21, just after her college graduation. Over the last 8 years she has been in clinical trials which have given her time. Time to find love, experience life, buy a house, travel and time to give others a fighting chance. Her time has been spent not only fighting and living.... but Fighting for others. Becoming an ambassador for the Susan G Komen Foundation. Speaking in public forums, colleges, high schools, at Breast Cancer events and through her incredibly touching blogs.
http://mybiggirlpants.blogspot.com/
She was a coach for the 3 Day (How I met her), and a walker. Proudly wearing her Pink shirt and pearls at closing.
Bridget has been a Mentor to so many along the way. Friends, neighbors, co-workers, 3 Day participants and her family who no doubt have been through hell and back. There are people who never met this incredible young woman who were INSPIRED... That is what living is. To give back to others selflessly and with your whole heart. No matter how scared you may be of what lies ahead. None of us have the answers to life, and we ALL know that life isn't fair... nor is it easy.
Am I a close personal friend of this woman? No. Have I held her hand, shared in a glass of wine or know her favorite flavor of ice cream? Absolutely not. But... I was given several opportunities to talk to her over the phone when she was a coach and I have followed her blogs religiously, and I can tell you this... her charismatic boisterous nature was contagious! You would never had known she was sick. You could quite literally FEEL and HEAR her smile through the phone. She was helpful, insightful and ready to go the extra mile for you. Always...
Within the last 36 hours, things have taken a sad turn, as we knew they one day would. The heart breaking reality sinks in like a dense fog and makes our thoughts hazy. How do we say goodbye to someone who has been so full of grace, so full of hope and always there to help... with a smile. That big beautiful, amazing, larger than life, CREST commercial, dazzling white, here I am... Smile. I know so many will miss that smile. That smile held a lot of wisdom, courage, sadness, hope, courage and LOVE which all her 28 teeth could muster. We are all blessed to have seen it, weather in person or in pictures or videos.
Saying goodbye is never easy... no matter how well you know someone. You can offer the generalized, "I'm sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family", but for some reason (to me) that just is not adequate enough for such a beautiful soul.
When the world is graced with a presence as rare and beautiful (and young) as Bridget Spence and we feel her warmth and determination... only to have it taken away, it leaves a void that is irreplaceable. Why is she the one being taken? Why not some asshat in prison who did something horrible? The way the world works sometimes leaves us all scratching our heads and simply asking, "WHY". Bridget is one of the "good ones". Bridget has left her incredible mark on this world, and let's face it - none of us will EVER look at pearls the same way ever again.
The Pink wings which will find themselves lifting our loved one up and out of this world will be grand. They will have variegated hues of the most beautiful pinks and peaches, creams and magenta's.... glittering with flecks of silver and gold. They will be as soft as cashmere and wisps of cotton candy. The trail of rose petal, hyacinth and honey scent will linger as she soars to the heavens. No longer in pain, no longer sick. Free from the demons that cancer brings. She will be draped in strands of her beloved pearls... all which were sent to her by the masses of people, some who knew her intimately, some who never heard of her until word spread of a simple pearl project in her honor. Each one representing a soul that she somehow touched.
That is my goodbye to Bridget. It is seeing her in my heart and minds eye carrying all of us with her so she can watch over each and every one of us. He legacy carrying on in Heaven. She will share in these stories with loved ones who have gone before her. And perhaps give each one of them a pearl. Like say... to our family members or loved ones. I envision her with pink sunlight in her full luxurious long hair... as she sits on a bench of clouds... hand outstretched to my mom, handing her one of the pearls I sent for that string. Holding my moms hand in complete silence. Nothing need be said.
So I will take a deep breath and sure... I will cry. I will mourn. We all will. I will see the pearl like colors in the evening skies and smile knowing that SHE is up there, smiling down upon us and watching us all carry on her message. Hoping we all can have the same grace and courage, strength and poise, love and light that she shared with us all.
One thing is for certain. She was too young to go through the battlefields of war. She was never alone though.
Thank you for touching my life. Thank you for making a difference. Thank you for showing us what courage and grace was all about. We will continue your fight here on earth, we will carry on your message...
and we will NEVER forget you.
Ever.
God Speed Bridget
