In those 525,600 minutes... Every 3 minutes someone is diagnosed with breast cancer... And every 13 minutes someone dies from it.
Roughly 525,600 minutes ago we got the news that one of our cherished ambassadors and pink warriors lost her battle. Bridget Spence had gained her pink wings. A resounding "thud" in all of our hearts was heard nation (and even world) wide as we all gasped and felt the sting of our heartbroken tears as they fell from our eyes.
The day we lost Bridget would be one that marked forever in our hearts a day that hurt our Pink Family to the core. Questions of Faith and God and the elusive cure rang out via social media almost immediately. The swearing hatred of the monster which took away such a vibrant soul.
After the dust settled and shock and grief faded (some).... Bridget's own words from her last blog entry hit home in a profund way to so many and re-ignited a fire within us all to, "do her proud" and live life with purpose all the while never forgetting her, her story, her courage, her humble ways and her grace.
"So now here we are. We have made it from Halloween, to Thanksgiving, and now we are celebrating Christmas. (The Big Man bought me a gorgeous diamond ring for Christmas!) Even as we celebrate, my year has, yet again, revolved around cancer. But I'm not complaining. I am thanking you. I thank each and every one of you for getting me here. I'm going to ask now for just one more favor.
It is time for me to ask each of you to let me go. It is time to say goodbye.
Over these past six weeks, my ability to breathe has been compromised. Every breath is a struggle. I cough all night and most days. I am exhausted. My mother and brothers have flown in to help. I'd like to stop working and go enjoy a nice cold drink with my husband on a beach somewhere. I want some time alone with him. Time without doctors appointments and scans, without work, just the two of us. No PI3K pathways. No trials. No hospitals. Just Bridget and her Big Man.
So thank you. Thank you for fighting with me over these past six years. Thank you for hoping with me. Walking every step of the way alongside me. I couldn't have done this without you. I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for each and every one of you and the dollars you have raised in my name.
Please, don't forget about me"
It is time for me to ask each of you to let me go. It is time to say goodbye.
Over these past six weeks, my ability to breathe has been compromised. Every breath is a struggle. I cough all night and most days. I am exhausted. My mother and brothers have flown in to help. I'd like to stop working and go enjoy a nice cold drink with my husband on a beach somewhere. I want some time alone with him. Time without doctors appointments and scans, without work, just the two of us. No PI3K pathways. No trials. No hospitals. Just Bridget and her Big Man.
So thank you. Thank you for fighting with me over these past six years. Thank you for hoping with me. Walking every step of the way alongside me. I couldn't have done this without you. I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for each and every one of you and the dollars you have raised in my name.
Please, don't forget about me"
....... We read those words that December and her last words stuck out and created a mantra...
We stood proud, yet slightly defeated coming to terms that this courageous, beautiful and YOUNG woman was gone.
We laced up our shoes, donned our pearls, raised money, cried, laughed and stood united waging a war against our foe... Just as she would have wanted.
In 365 days we have remembered Bridget Spence in her incredibly moving speeches, coaching roles, news clips, magazine ads for SGK and in her beautiful wedding dress. We have seen her in pale pink clouds as the sun goes down and we have seen her shining brightly in different hues of pearls worn (I think) at every Komen event this past year. We've seen tribute shirts for staff, we've witnessed teams formed honoring her, we've seen pink flowers with each city name written on them beautifully placed on her grave maker... But mostly we've seen honor.
We are continuing our promise to her... We aren't forgetting her (or sadly, the countless of other lives lost). Her legacy lives on with every breath we take, every step we take, every dollar raised and every new drug or clinical trial that becomes available thanks in part to us NOT forgetting.
Can we measure the pain over loss? No. What we CAN measure is LOVE. And over the past 365 days I've seen more love spawned from a loss than I can believe... And THAT is actually pretty fantastic and deeply moving. A true testament to Bridget and those like her.
In her departure she left us each our own message to figure out for ourselves... Bridget, unknowingly, created her own special ear worm for all of us... In her "Please don't forget about me" statement... She left it up to us to remember and honor her in our own special ways. Her legacy left behind lives in each of us and those we share her incredible journey with. It is up to us to be her continued voice, which I think we a doing pretty well.
Today I noticed the first rays of the morning sun peeking thru my back yards fence into my garden. Brightly lighting up my one single pink rose blossoming. I snapped a few pictures. After I posted them I gasped. There she was, saying hello and flooding my heart with that familiar pain of loss. But with it came a calm... A sense of enlightenment. Like she was simply saying with that beautiful smile we knew.... "I'm here. It's ok. Carry on carrying on and spread the word".
And we will continue carrying on... And we will NEVER forget.
(Notice the pink angel wings below the rose)
Alison, I am Bridget's mom and I want to reach out to you and thank you for those beautiful words. When I first read your response on Bridget's blog, I was so moved by those kind words, but then I clicked on your response today and found your own blog. Bridget is doing a happy dance in heaven knowing that you so eloquently expressed so much love and admiration for her and for her efforts. I just want to give a virtual hug to the whole "pink family", as you call the survivors, and let you know how much your words meant to me. I am blessed with an amazing support system, but it has not lessened for one instant the sadness and pain of living without Bridget. I can never describe the enormity of missing her. And yet, she is here in so many ways. Your picture of the rose at dawn illustrates how she shows herself to us. There have been so many of those "Bridget" moments, that I have begun to write them down, lest I forget. She is still vividly here and wants us all to know it. So thank you for taking the time to write, and for expressing yourself so beautifully. It meant the world to me
ReplyDeleteDottie,
DeleteI am deeply touched that my writing has done something special for you. We have all been so blessed to have your beautiful daughter in our lives in one form or another. She really was unique and made an everlasting and loving impression within each one of our hearts. She will forever be remembered and dearly admired.
I am so glad to hear that you have so much support surrounding you. That brings some relief to my worry. Trying to describe the enormity of you missing her is like trying to count all the grains of sand at the beach. Every memory, every birthday, every "first" moment like a new tooth, her first word, first prom... They are laid out before you on that beach reflected in each grain of sand. I get that. Sadly my own mother, who if you read thru my blog you will learn, was also taken by cancer.
Those grains of sand though... Create a shoreline... A vast, expansive "Reach" before you. And with each tear that falls, the ocean collects and carries out to another world... A world that your daughter helped others get thru. A world that carried those feelings across states, and even other countries... Bridget and her gift of touching others and teaching them... Created hope for so many. There are so many people standing on other beaches looking at their feet in the sand and having similar feelings. Bridget was able to reach so many... And has helped so many... That she will never be forgotten.
I am glad that you are chronicling your Bridget Moments... I am sure jotting them down will help bring you even more peace when the time presents itself to you.
In the meantime, please please know that you all are continually in our thoughts and are surrounded by lots of hugs. If there is anything at all that I can do, I am here or you may contact me privately at your discretion thru email dupre_alisen@yahoo.com
Sending you hugs
Alisen